The Naked Civil Servant

John Hurt's 1975 performance is a poignant portrayal of Quentin Crisp, "one of the stately homos of England." In the years before World War II, Quentin Crisp dared to be himself. It was a time when homosexuality was illegal, yet he was determined to make the world aware of it. Crisp's story is one of the single most important accounts we have of the struggle for our (gay) rights before such boldness was recognized as a struggle.



From an early age, he knew he was different, but until he left home, he had always believed that "Sex is a poor substitute for masturbation." Strolling the streets one night he met the first person willing to initiate him into a world of men dressing as women. It is this moment he discovered that "Exhibitionism is a drug. You get hooked!" Quentin Crisp flagrantly and courageously began to wear make-up, and dress flamboyantly. He confronted the prejudice of public fear and opinion, something he did at great personal risk. In doing so he learned valuable lessons like, "Some rough's (short for ruffians) are really queer, and some queers are really rough."



Early on Quentin Crisp turned to prostitution to make a living, but in due course, fortune opened new opportunities for him. Though his membership at an establishment for men of the gay persuasion was revoked because of his obvious appearance, homosexuality saved him from the war, and during the black out, the dark streets of Britain became his playground. He had particularly fond memories of the Americans arriving. That was when he learned that sex could be fun. God bless America! When Quentin Crisp took a job as an art model, he realized that he had become a naked civil servant, thus the the title of this film.



Today, we live in a world of self absorption. Younger and younger generations of gays and lesbians are becoming increasingly farther removed from the dangers of being different in a world that is scared to accept them. Prejudice still exists, but it is important to know what others have sacrificed to pave the way for us. When considering queer films to watch, The Naked Civil Servant is an important selection. It reminds us all to "Never keep up with the Jonses. Drag them down to your level. It's cheaper."



Happy Endings,


Matthew

Edge of Seventeen

It's 1984, and 17 year old Eric(Chris Stafford) is on a path of self discovery that will lead him to a greater truth about himself. During the summer before his senior year he and his girlfriend, Maggie, take a job at a local theme park restaurant. Here they meet two delightfully gay characters, kitchen boss Angie(Lea DeLaria), and Rod(Anderson Gaybrych), another member of the staff who is openly gay. After a mouth full of whipped cream and a near kiss with Rod in the kitchen cooler, Eric begins to open up to his inner yearnings.

Eric's experiences lead him to a farewell date at the season's end, just before Rod leaves for Ohio State. His first experience mimics many of our's in that there is nothing better than willingly giving one's innocence to another in the confines of forbidden secret acts. The flood gates are opened for Eric, freeing the turbulent waters of confusion as he tries to understand his new feelings, and his love for girlfriend Maggie.

After being called queer at a party, Eric runs straight to the local gay bar. There he reunites with his old boss Angie, who introduces him into the glamor of the gay lifestyle. His first trick quickly follows. When Eric gets his first rim job from an older man, I screamed "Hallelujah! Thank you, Jesus!" This movie evoked memories and feelings of my own first experiences, particularly a scene I like to refer to as Baby's First Anal. Of course with pleasure comes pain. As Eric delves deeper into his new life he learns valuable lessons about sex and love. He must also reconcile with his girlfriend and confront his mother.

'84 was a little before my my teen years, but oh boy! This film, actually released in 1998, takes me back to a time in my own life when the prospect of sex with another man filled me with the verboten tingle of teenage sin. Yes! I liked the film. In fact I watched it twice, and I will watch it again. I strongly recommend you do the same. It will transport you to the days of young love's sweet sting, and I don't mean the kind that burns when you pee.

Happy Endings,

Matthew

Were the World Mine

"Now with a deft and musical note, rejoice
To give your deepest love-desire strong voice."
~ Shakespeare

Right on! Were the World Mine strikes a note that will resonate with your senses on every level, and it is no wonder that this film has been the recipient of a boat load of awards, far too numerous to mention here. Based on the short film, "Fairies" and William Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream, this 2008 feature weaves a spell sewn of music, plot, and classical lyrics, not to mention an incredible cast.

Timothy, played by angel of the screen Tanner Cohen, attends an all boys school where the senior class students are required to participate in the school play. Surrounded by jocks, he finds himself falling in love with star rugby player, Jonathan, played by Nathaniel David Becker. Ms. Tebbit, the English teacher has adapted Shakespeare's play as a musical, and casts Timothy and Jonathan as Puck and Lysander respectively. While rehearsing his lines, Timothy discovers the secret of Cupid's love juice, and with a magical flower begins casting a spell that turns the whole town of Kingston upside down. However, the course of true love does not run smooth. Timothy's mischief calls the attention of Ms. Tebbit(Wendy Robbie), who sees all and forces reluctant Timothy to make amends. Though restored, no one will ever be the same, including Jonathan, who realizes his true love for Timothy.

The music in this film is brilliant, and the dancing, shirtless, teenage rugby players aren't bad either. All of the elements in Were the World Mine make for a perfect mix of entertainment that is worthy to coin the term "heteroflexible", which means "I'm straight, but shit happens." WATCH THIS MOVIE! You will walk away singing " I pray thee, gentle mortal, sing again."

Happy Endings,
Matthew

Breakfast with Scot

For Sam and Eric, keeping the nature of their relationship a private matter proves to be a conundrum of hysterical proportion when Scot moves in after the death of his mother. Eric (Tom Cavanagh), a former hockey star and sportscaster who hates kids, is mortified by Scot, who loves stickers, knitting, make-up, Broadway musicals, and anything pink. In his attempts to help Scot become more masculine, Eric becomes increasingly comfortable with his own identity and realizes he cares for Scot a great deal.

This 2007 film is almost as cute as Noah Bernett, who plays Scot, and does so marvelously. This movie speaks to the uniqueness of children, and how the loving heart of a child can transform lives. I found it to be funny and heart warming. Society frequently denies and underestimates that gay couples can be good parents, a notion which this movie dispels. Though Scot never admits that he is gay, this film raises questions about children who realize their sexuality at an early age, and the ways in which adutls care for and nuture them.

If you want to laugh, maybe cry, rejoice, and identify with people, then watch this movie. Scot has a profound affect on everyone in the film. Watching it made me wish that someone would die and leave me a kid...But seriously, watch and enjoy this film. It's delightful, and maybe Scot will affect you too.

Happy Endings!

Matthew

Cowboys and Angels

Whether you are straight or gay, you will enjoy this 2003 film. Cowboys and Angels takes place in Limerick, Ireland, during the early part of the new millennium. When Vincent, an oh so de la monde fashion design student at the Limerick College of Art, takes a city flat with Shane, a seemingly naive heterosexual who is looking for a place to belong.

Vincent begins to work his magic on Shane, who is falling in love with Gemma, a lesbian; however, Vincent's powers of fabulous fashion are not the only forces working to transform Shane. Fate intervenes one evening when he accidentally discovers the hidden drug stash of neighboring tenant Kieth, who decides to capitalize on Shane's innocence. At first, Shane declines Keith's offer to pull a delivery job, but a sense of hopelessness and a desire to achieve his dreams leads Shane on a one night adventure that haunts and marks him forever. As Vincent prepares for his final fashion show, Shane sinks deeper into hard circumstances and farther away from his dreams. In the end, Shane's good heart and Vincent's influence are triumphant for both characters.

It is refreshing to watch a movie in which the gay character is not some drug indulgent slut looking for another fix and the futile exploits of sexual depravity. There's plenty of that, but you won't find it here. In this film we see how a loving friendship between gay and straight people can transform both parties in a positive way. Unexpected twists and turns in the plot add to the quality of this film. It is heart warming and fun, and I hope you will find time to watch it.

Happy Endings,

Matthew

Creatures from the Pink Lagoon

Oh my God I love campy movies! Creatures from the Pink Lagoon (2006) has all of the wonderfully gay elements of a hilariously campy film. Set in 1967, this black and white movie revolves around a group of gay men throwing a birthday party for their friend Phillip, at Stan's house on the Pink Lagoon, which happens to be located near the Exist 5 Rest Stop and the West End Chemical Plant. In the beginning of this film, a rest stop cruiser is bitten by a mosquito carrying the dreaded West End Virus, resulting in the resurrection of zombies...fag zombies!

This film has several shameless steals from Mart Crowley's The Boy's in the Band, but " Oh Mary, don't ask." The cast of characters completely covers a wide range of gay personalities; the sweet one, the closeted one, the gym bunny, the pretty yet stupid one, the smart one, the bitch, and the rest stop Betty.

After being let out on the side of the road by his unappreciative boyfriend, Phillip is the last to arrive at the party. The real fun begins when a horde of festive zombies make their way from the Exit 5 rest stop to the beach of the Pink Lagoon, putting an end to the merriment and forcing the group to try and figure out how they will escape. During their attempts they discover that the only thing that will stop the zombies is Butch 22 cologne, but as they try to get help they lose several of the party guests, including bitchy Randall, whos' need to smoke a cigarette becomes his undoing.

Before zombies overtake the entire lagoon, Stan realizes that he can change the zombies back into people by playing the music of Judy Garland and saves the day. After the experience, Phillip discovers his true love, and Stan drives off blasting a Judy Garland weekend marathon to make things right again. In the end, zombified Randall returns to say "Show tunes...If I hear one more show tune I'm going to eat somebody." Rest stop cruising, zombies, dildos, bad cologne, and Judy Garland make this campy feature a must see that will have you singing Zing! Went the Strings of My Heart.

Happy Endings,

Matthew

Burnt Money

Burnt Money, or Plata Quemada, is a Spanish film from 2000 that is balls to the wall! This true story of homosexual, Argentinian bank robbers/cop killers Angel and Nene, takes place in Buenos Aires and Montevideo during 1965. Nothing is lost through the use of subtitles in this sexy shoot 'em up movie. "Lady Luck is strange. She comes when she's least expected" rings true in this film that really delivers. Money isn't the only thing on fire in this movie. Actors Eduardo Noriega and Leonardo Sbaraglia bear it all. With a love that is equalled only by lust, the world believes that Angel and Nene are twins. Their only true bond is a blood-stained passion that sees them to their destructive, psychotic end.

Let's talk skin. This film has lots of it, and hubba hubba! Intermittent scenes loaded with full frontal and rear nudity are most gratifying. Drugs, indiscriminate sex, and flagrant cruising, are rampant throughout this movie, including a forced bathroom blow job at gun point that had me shouting ole! It's funny that the Spanish word for restroom is servicio. You do the math.

In the course of a lethiferous relationship Angel wants to save Nene from himself. Nene wants to calm the constant voices in Angel's mind. Holding on to their dreams of learning English and moving to New York, they blaze their way to Uruguay in hopes of escaping from the consequences of their crimes. Information provided to the police by the jaded women in their lives brings about a final shoot out of fantastic proportion. After they decide to burn all of the stolen money, preventing the police from obtaining it, the real irony in this film occurs when Nene is shot by a stray bullet. As he lies, dying in Angel's arms, he tells Angel that he can finally hear the voices.

Despite my own partiality for foreign films, an enthralling story, hot bodies, and plenty of action make this film one that anyone can enjoy. Spanish dialogue along with rock and roll make for a great sound platform. I love Burnt Money. If foreign films aren't your thing, try this one. You might change your mind.

Happy Endings,

Matthew